What I Learned About Self-Acceptance by Leaving the Country
Photo by the author
About a month ago, we visited Switzerland for the second time in a few years. Tex's family lives there, so we have the chance to visit and stay for free. The Swiss Alps are known for their skiing, but they are stunning in the summer -- green rolling hills dotted with cows and chalets, towering mountains with cliffs, and serene lakes with crystal-clear water.
What struck me this time was how calm the place and people felt. I had been working on my own self-acceptance, so the difference between Switzerland and the United States stood out to me.
There was a sense that people were comfortable with who they were and where they were in life and weren’t constantly striving for more. It shows in the way they take long lunches, lounge by the lakes, and care for their infrastructure and environment.
I give the caveat here that I've only seen a few parts of Switzerland -- small towns, a couple of cities, and places people go on vacation. My purpose is not to claim that what I saw defined the entire country but how different it feels as a whole from the U.S. (which can also be very different within itself). The contrast in cultures can be thought-provoking.
When I returned to the U.S., the people here (in Seattle) felt more "manic" because we're always running around busy. But not just active but constantly trying to prove ourselves by staying one step ahead of the feeling that we're not doing enough. And Seattle is laid back compared to L.A., where you can feel people trying to outdo one another walking down the street on the Westside.
There is nothing wrong with being busier and wanting more from life, which tends to be the vibe of cities compared to rural areas. Cities also tend to be hubs of creativity, and the flip side of comfort is stagnation. But there is a big difference between striving because we choose rather than because of a constant voice that says we are nothing if we don’t.
Social media is another "place" with high creativity and intense striving. It triggers comparisons and self-doubt for me as a writer who is still trying to hear my own voice. I've been distancing from social media already as I don't like the pressure to post frequently, the pressure to post videos, and all the fake accounts (mainly on Instagram). Spending time in Switzerland made me realize how artificial Internet culture can be.
None of these cultural differences can be isolated from the socio-economic differences. Switzerland is a wealthy country with higher average salaries, cheaper health insurance (because of universal coverage), and more social services. Here in the States, a more significant percentage of us struggle for everyday survival, and that's going to be a major influence on how much we can relax and be comfortable with ourselves. We also don't have the world's richest people hiding our money here.
Let's face it, having money doesn't mean you allow yourself to enjoy it. The richest people are often the least relaxed. On the flip side, I also know people who don't have financial security but are free to be themselves.
I think it's worth asking ourselves, why are we trained to feel this way? Who benefits from our constant striving just to feel okay? And what would it look like if we lived our lives from a place of self-acceptance?
I left Switzerland wanting to hold on to that sense of calm and comfort. I started doing less of the things that can pull me out of that calm -- mostly social media and constant media consumption. Instead, I focused on the people and experiences that were more real to me. Meditating in the backyard. Going for walks. Spending time with Tex.
Sometimes the simplest things are enough.
Thanks for reading! What are some of the things you’ve discovered from visiting other countries and cultures? Feel free to comment below.
